After endless debates spanning two years, the self-proclaimed “premier” birding organization in the nation has finally reached the earth-shattering conclusion that birds should no longer bear human names.
The American Ornithological Society, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to strip North American birds of their existing names in favor of ones that supposedly better describe their plumage and other characteristics.
Notably, they’ve prioritized changing names associated with enslavers, white supremacists, and those who disturbed Indigenous graves. In their eyes, even one of the most renowned figures in U.S. birding history, John James Audubon, isn’t safe from their righteous renaming crusade.
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The society’s president, Colleen Handel, apparently believes that English bird names have some mysterious power to harm and exclude people today. In her condescending statement, she claims that we need a more “inclusive and engaging scientific process” to focus on the birds’ features and beauty, as if the previous names were some kind of deep-rooted problem.
In the near future, the society plans to appoint a committee to brainstorm up to 80 new names, a move that has surprised even some of the activists within the organization.
These activists, most of them belonging to the same privileged group, initially called for this change after a highly publicized incident in Central Park where a White woman falsely accused a Black birder of assault in 2020. It appears they believe that changing bird names will somehow rectify racial injustices.
Of course, not every birder in this society will readily embrace this decision, as some have spent years memorizing names that have stood for over a century. Despite the anticipated resistance, the society’s leadership is unapologetic and condescendingly proud of their decision.
It’s worth noting that this renaming frenzy extends to birders of color who may be startled by the history of certain birds’ namesakes, like John Kirk Townsend, who apparently collected skulls stolen from Native graves to promote his racial theories. As if that weren’t enough, the society also highlights the fact that White people were the ones credited with “discovering” and naming these birds, perpetuating the cycle of oppression.
The renaming zeal has even infected chapters of the National Audubon Society, which decided to distance themselves from the names of birds honoring enslavers. But this renaming circus doesn’t stop there. The society intends to change all English bird names and cultural names that they find “problematic,” apparently under the assumption that they somehow imply ownership of the species.
In the end, while some may change their minds about this renaming obsession, others will likely dismiss it as a misguided endeavor fueled by misplaced notions of social justice. This renaming campaign is yet another example of how society can sometimes embrace the absurd in the name of progress.
