In what can only be described as poetic justice, Hollywood darling Ellen DeGeneres and her wife Portia de Rossi have reportedly fled the United States following Donald Trump’s triumphant election victory—only to find themselves literally underwater in their new English retreat.
The Cotswolds, known for its idyllic charm and posh celebrity residents, has been transformed into a soggy swamp as relentless floods leave roads impassable and locals stranded. Five feet of water have engulfed the area, leaving residents trapped in their homes. One neighbor described the situation as “the worst I have seen it in years,” and honestly, it sounds like Ellen and Portia have traded one disaster for another.
Running from Democracy
According to sources, the pair hastily packed their bags and fled to England after Trump’s decisive win over Kamala Harris—a victory that left liberals clutching their pearls and running for the hills (or, in this case, the Cotswolds). Insiders told TMZ that the couple felt “disillusioned” and decided to “get the hell out” of America. Good riddance, some might say.
It seems their Montecito, California mansion is on the market, and the two are looking to make their UK escape permanent. One source claimed the duo will “never” return to the U.S. on a permanent basis, a decision likely celebrated by Trump supporters who grew tired of Hollywood elites endlessly preaching from their gilded pedestals.
Rain, Rain, Go Away
Unfortunately for Ellen and Portia, it appears Mother Nature wasn’t quite ready to roll out the welcome mat. Their new digs in the picturesque countryside have been hit with catastrophic flooding. Roads have turned into rivers, and residents are left stranded as floodwaters rise “by the hour.”
Ironically, the Cotswolds, often touted as a wealthy haven for British celebrities like David and Victoria Beckham, Kate Moss, and Elizabeth Hurley, has now become a watery trap. Perhaps Ellen should have consulted the local weather forecast before fleeing her “disillusionment” in sunny California.
A Pub Crawl Before the Downpour
Before the floodwaters rose, Ellen and Portia were spotted living it up at a local pub in Burford, England. In a video shared on social media, Ellen could be seen rocking brunette hair, blending into her new countryside surroundings. But it seems their cozy pub nights were short-lived, as the deluge had other plans.
Maybe their next Instagram update will feature Ellen rowing her way to the nearest Marks & Spencer for supplies. If this scenario isn’t comedic gold, what is?
Liberal Meltdowns and Flooded Mansions
Let’s not forget, during the U.S. election, Ellen was a vocal supporter of Kamala Harris and even donated $3,300 to her campaign. It’s curious how someone so disillusioned with the election results conveniently forgot that democracy doesn’t always go their way. If every Hollywood liberal fled the country after a Republican victory, the rest of us might finally get some peace and quiet.
Ellen’s choice to relocate to the Cotswolds—one of England’s most elite areas—is just another example of out-of-touch Hollywood hypocrisy. Perhaps her neighbors, like the Beckhams and Kate Moss, can lend her a life raft in these trying times.
Flooded Dreams or Divine Retribution?
While Ellen and Portia are busy navigating their new watery woes, one has to wonder if this is just a case of bad timing or a karmic lesson for those who think they can outrun reality. Running from America to escape a Trump presidency is one thing, but running straight into five feet of water? That’s next-level irony.
It’s unclear whether Ellen will now regret abandoning her Montecito mansion, but one thing is certain: the grass isn’t always greener, especially when it’s underwater. Maybe this is a sign for the Hollywood elite to stay put and face the music instead of fleeing at the first sign of democracy not going their way.
For now, we’ll sit back and enjoy the spectacle. After all, who needs late-night TV when real life delivers comedy like this?
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